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Dispatches From Orbit  Get Feed for Dispatches From Orbit

Breakthrough for women, company names female GM.

Dispatch: Huge Breakthrough For Women–Entertainment Company Hires Female GM

OrbitNovember 13, 20202020-11-13T16:03:24-08:00
Everyone can agree, the one industry that has shut women out of the executive ranks is the entertainment industry. (more…)
Train smashes boat off transport truck.

Dispatch: Trainwreck Watching Is Becoming The Newest And Hottest Spectator Sport

Orbit October 27, 2020 Comments Off on Dispatch: Trainwreck Watching Is Becoming The Newest And Hottest Spectator Sport2020-10-30T09:33:55-07:00
Can there be anything more exciting than watching somebody try to beat a train to the tracks? No. In person there could not be (more…)
Undelivered mail in trash bags.

Dispatch: Local Mail Carrier Hailed As Hero By Area Residents In PA Town

Orbit October 22, 2020 Comments Off on Dispatch: Local Mail Carrier Hailed As Hero By Area Residents In PA Town2020-10-22T22:09:59-07:00
It’s no shocker to us up here in Orbit, but they caught another mail carrier throwing away mail. The Feds raided the guy’s house (more…)
Crowds go wild as we reenter Orbit.

Dispatch: Back From Hiatus Grand Reopening Sales Extravaganza

Orbit October 1, 2020 Comments Off on Dispatch: Back From Hiatus Grand Reopening Sales Extravaganza2020-10-23T10:45:57-07:00
Okay, we’re back from hiatus again. We thought it was going to be smooth sailing, but then (more…)
U-Haul trucks on fire in Eugene.

Dispatch: Fireworks In Eugene, U-Haul Truck Fire, You Can’t Make This Sh*T Up

Orbit April 8, 2020 Comments Off on Dispatch: Fireworks In Eugene, U-Haul Truck Fire, You Can’t Make This Sh*T Up2020-08-08T11:50:26-07:00
A guy in Eugene threw some lighted fireworks at a woman he was having a dispute with (more…)
Shooting at tannerite packed lawn mower.

Dispatch: It Ain’t A Party Till Somebody’s Leg Gets Blown Off

Orbit April 1, 2020 Comments Off on Dispatch: It Ain’t A Party Till Somebody’s Leg Gets Blown Off2020-08-18T20:27:46-07:00
A Georgia man and his pals packed a lawn mower full of an explosive called tannerite. It's impossible to know (more…)
Man shoots fridge full of tannerite.

Dispatch: Gender Reveal Party Reveals Low Collective I.Q. Of Participants

Orbit March 31, 2020 Comments Off on Dispatch: Gender Reveal Party Reveals Low Collective I.Q. Of Participants2020-10-28T12:17:07-07:00
A cadre of morons in Brevard County Florida managed to ignite a 10 acre brush fire with explosives (more…)
Weest Side Detroit memorial bottle collection.

Dispatch: Feeble Detroit Memorial Escalated To Protest By Media Hacks

Orbit March 16, 2020 Comments Off on Dispatch: Feeble Detroit Memorial Escalated To Protest By Media Hacks2020-04-20T08:33:56-07:00
It's a mystery to me why someone at the Detroit News decided to run a report about an impromptu memorial (more…)
Teacher’s assistant hired some muscle.

Dispatch: Teaching Assistant Goes Gangsta Upstate. It’s Going Down…

Orbit March 9, 2020 Comments Off on Dispatch: Teaching Assistant Goes Gangsta Upstate. It’s Going Down…2020-10-29T14:14:16-07:00
Corporal punishment used to be an integral part of the educational process. (more…)
Dispatch: You Gotta Pick Your Mom Up From The Hospital At 2:00 PM

Dispatch: You Gotta Pick Your Mom Up From The Hospital At 2:00 PM

Orbit March 5, 2020 Comments Off on Dispatch: You Gotta Pick Your Mom Up From The Hospital At 2:00 PM2020-04-22T10:14:13-07:00
The headline is obvious click-bait: “Giant inflatable colon on display, today only, (more…)

News & Opinion  Get Feed for News & Opinion

PETA

PETA’s New Mascot, Climate Change Cow, Delivers Dire Warning

OrbitFebruary 22, 20212021-02-22T15:28:07-08:00
Typical of shrill animal rights activists, the sign is in ALL CAPS. But you have to admit, that’s quite a catchy slogan. (more…)
Charlie Chaplan some kind of silent movie star.

Disturbing New Charlie Chaplin-Stan Laurel Information Comes To Light

Orbit December 7, 2020 Comments Off on Disturbing New Charlie Chaplin-Stan Laurel Information Comes To Light2020-12-18T17:04:19-08:00
I don’t know how it started. Somewhere down in there I saw a description of a Stan Laurel movie from 1924 called West of Hot Dog. (more…)
Deputies initiate homicide investigation.

Cryptic Homicide Investigation May Involve Scary Egyptian Monster

Orbit November 10, 2020 Comments Off on Cryptic Homicide Investigation May Involve Scary Egyptian Monster2020-11-12T18:29:19-08:00
In the old days, a homicide was a big deal to a reporter. GREAT SHRIEKING DOGAHEADS they might have exclaimed (more…)
Barking man.

Barking Man Slapped Silly, Cutting Edge “Journalists” Baffled

Orbit October 9, 2020 Comments Off on Barking Man Slapped Silly, Cutting Edge “Journalists” Baffled2020-10-22T22:12:57-07:00
It’s one of the oldest truths in reporting: Dog Bites Man is not news, but Man Bites Dog is. It’s a who-bites-whom world out there. (more…)
The Mysterious Chelsea Clinton Howdy Doody connection.

The Mysterious Chelsea Clinton-Howdy Doody Connection Persists

Orbit October 1, 2020 Comments Off on The Mysterious Chelsea Clinton-Howdy Doody Connection Persists2020-11-17T15:26:35-08:00
Ah yes, this is your proverbial story that won’t go away, ongoing plastic surgery notwithstanding.  (more…)
Infant abandoned on doorstep.

DNA Analysis Shows Series Of Abandoned Infants Related To Each Other

Orbit April 17, 2020 Comments Off on DNA Analysis Shows Series Of Abandoned Infants Related To Each Other2020-08-18T20:21:08-07:00
How would you like to find a buried treasure in your back yard? You would, wouldn't you? (more…)
CA pandemic goals include socially distanced schoolyards.

California To Reconstruct All Schools And Child Care Facilities Into Prison-Like Cells

Orbit April 15, 2020 Comments Off on California To Reconstruct All Schools And Child Care Facilities Into Prison-Like Cells2020-08-08T14:45:26-07:00
We think the Governor of California has an extra dashing haircut. He's got great suits. (more…)
Doctor who shoved and choked teens, points at them.

Was Teen-Choking Kentucky Doctor Part Of Violent Feuding Cult?

Orbit April 9, 2020 Comments Off on Was Teen-Choking Kentucky Doctor Part Of Violent Feuding Cult?2020-10-04T22:07:54-07:00
There's a terrific but confused story out of Kentucky today about a doctor went all swaggering badass on (more…)
Purina

Egg Salad News: Purina’s Mind-Numbing Response To Our Letter

Orbit March 24, 2020 Comments Off on Egg Salad News: Purina’s Mind-Numbing Response To Our Letter2020-03-26T13:05:54-07:00
Yeah, okay, from egg salad to dog food might seem like a stretch, but it's food, dammit. (more…)
Muncie man has self_control problems and machete.

Muncie Man Having Trouble Getting Along With Others, Machete Involved

Orbit March 21, 2020 Comments Off on Muncie Man Having Trouble Getting Along With Others, Machete Involved2020-07-23T23:05:45-07:00
Alright, on the surface you'd think this was a pretty simple thing and if that's what you think, you're wrong. (more…)

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  • Dispatches From Orbit (36)
  • News & Opinion (33)

Recent Posts

  • PETA’s New Mascot, Climate Change Cow, Delivers Dire Warning
  • Disturbing New Charlie Chaplin-Stan Laurel Information Comes To Light
  • Dispatch: Huge Breakthrough For Women–Entertainment Company Hires Female GM
  • Cryptic Homicide Investigation May Involve Scary Egyptian Monster
  • Dispatch: Trainwreck Watching Is Becoming The Newest And Hottest Spectator Sport
  • Dispatch: Local Mail Carrier Hailed As Hero By Area Residents In PA Town
  • Barking Man Slapped Silly, Cutting Edge “Journalists” Baffled

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