New World Orbit: News & Opinion and Dispatches From Orbit

Remember, New World Orbit is GLOOTEN FREE.

Hillary and Huma looking really spooked.
Hillary and Huma don’t know nuthin’

We work for MASA, the Metaphysical Aeronautics and Space Administration. They have us in the middle of the desert. It’s probably either California or Nevada. We don’t know.

We’re paid to pretend we’re in orbit around the Earth on the ISS, the Impossible Space Station. We record ourselves eating, singing, and jumping around on a sound stage with the aid of wires. We record space walks in the Olympic Plus-Sized pool. We live in mobile homes on the property. It’s hot here. There’s nothing to do except the internet.

If that’s not enough, we also bring you human interest stories…

Elon Musk admits he's bipolar.Nothing else to do, we decided it’s our mission to rip the lid off of the latest conspiracies, plots, and New World shenanigans. We expose the Illuminati, the Masons, the Freemasons, the Remasons, the Demasons, the Reptilians, the Pizzafarians, and the International Banking Cannibals. MASA goes along with it because it draws attention away from its own fuckery.

If that’s not enough, we also bring you human interest stories told from our unique perspective. However, mostly what we do is expose the utter stupidity rampant in society and the media. These are just a few of the many reasons New World Orbit should be your first step to understanding the world.

Make sure you’re in the proper Orbit

Shmarvard University diploma for Masters in Stupidology.
Shmarvard Masters in Stupidology

Alright, in the right sidebar of every page on New World Orbit is a subscription sign up form. See it over there on the right where it says, “Join Us In Orbit.” There are fields for your name and email address and we don’t care about your name. The form will go through whether you provide a name or not, and who cares whose name it is? We don’t. We’re just going to keep sending alerts to that email address until you tell us to stop.

****IMPORTANT NOTE:

I came up with the idea of claiming Orbit is “gluten free” in conversation with my friend and colleague Alan Anderson. He said: “You should spell gluten with two O’s.” And we had a good laugh about that.

Alan is a world renowned novelist and his work can be found at Amazon.