Dispatches From Orbit Archives

Dispatch: Circus Jump Rope Artist Fails To Blow California Man’s Mind

Orbit February 22, 2018 Dispatch: Circus Jump Rope Artist Fails To Blow California Man’s Mind2020-03-07T12:34:44-08:00 Dispatches From Orbit

I happened across a video on youtube with the title: "Cirque du Soleil jump rope artist will blow your mind.” The mere concept (more…)

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Dispatch: Researchers Show Health Benefits Of Cocaine, Whiskey

Orbit February 16, 2018 Dispatch: Researchers Show Health Benefits Of Cocaine, Whiskey2020-06-24T10:46:56-07:00 Dispatches From Orbit

According to a news story from Georgia, several men were sought and one apprehended (more…)

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Dispatch: Obama First Ex-President With Surrealist “Jazz Hands” Official Portrait

Orbit February 13, 2018 Dispatch: Obama First Ex-President With Surrealist “Jazz Hands” Official Portrait2020-03-07T12:48:40-08:00 Dispatches From Orbit

The official portraits for President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama were recently unveiled. I guess it was yesterday. I dunno, (more…)

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Dispatch: Teachers Just Like Everyone Else When It Comes To Screwing Up

Orbit February 12, 2018 Dispatch: Teachers Just Like Everyone Else When It Comes To Screwing Up2020-03-07T13:20:21-08:00 Dispatches From Orbit

It's almost like they screw up purposely, like they must have wanted to get busted. Doesn't matter which method of screwing up they choose, (more…)

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Dispatch: Let’s Hope Elon Musk’s Flamethrowers Work Better Than His Rockets

Orbit February 9, 2018 Dispatch: Let’s Hope Elon Musk’s Flamethrowers Work Better Than His Rockets2020-03-07T13:22:57-08:00 Dispatches From Orbit

I'm having a little trouble making any sense of this: Elon Musk sold 20,000 stylish flamethrowers to the general public. The price was (more…)

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Dispatch: Oxford English Dictionary Assaults Everyone With Crazed New Words

Orbit February 5, 2018 Dispatch: Oxford English Dictionary Assaults Everyone With Crazed New Words2020-03-07T13:29:25-08:00 Dispatches From Orbit

So apparently the Oxford English Dictionary has published its new words list. How many do you suppose they've added? (more…)

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Dispatch: People Unclear On The Concept Rife, Idiots Abound

Orbit January 30, 2018 Dispatch: People Unclear On The Concept Rife, Idiots Abound2020-03-07T09:27:31-08:00 Dispatches From Orbit

A guy in Miami named Richard Powell, 57, was arrested for the 344th time. The story said the charges “ranged from drinking in public and stealing a milk crate (more…)

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Dispatch: Bigfoot Not Impressed With Flying Dinosaurs Attacking In North Carolina

Orbit January 18, 2018 Dispatch: Bigfoot Not Impressed With Flying Dinosaurs Attacking In North Carolina2018-03-08T13:18:43-08:00 Dispatches From Orbit

Okay, when it comes to cryptozoology, I'm definitely a Bigfoot man. You can fiddle around with notions of Dogmen or chupacabras, go ahead, see where that gets you. (more…)

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