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Dispatches From Orbit

Dispatch: Another Confusing Day In The “News” Featuring Urine Facials, A Trans Playboy Model, And “Kneelers”

Orbit October 19, 2017 Dispatch: Another Confusing Day In The “News” Featuring Urine Facials, A Trans Playboy Model, And “Kneelers”2017-12-04T21:01:49-08:00 Dispatches From Orbit
Oh no. NO. Now they’re just fucking with you. Of course, it’s The Sun over there on dot UK. It’s not like you could go lower on the journalistic scale…
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Dispatches From Orbit

Dispatch: Man Beating Supermarket Employee With Loaf Of French Bread Arrested

Orbit September 22, 2017 Dispatch: Man Beating Supermarket Employee With Loaf Of French Bread Arrested2020-08-04T17:44:34-07:00 Dispatches From Orbit
Now here’s a feel-good story if there ever was one. SF Chron headline: “Police: Supermarket employee beaten with baguette by local man.” This one is close to my heart (more…)
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Dispatches From Orbit

Dispatch: Pope Sustains Head Injury In Popemobile Then Blasts Climate Deniers From Papal Plane

Orbit September 11, 2017 Dispatch: Pope Sustains Head Injury In Popemobile Then Blasts Climate Deniers From Papal Plane2017-09-19T14:17:27-07:00 Dispatches From Orbit
Here’s a pretty whack headline for you: “Pope blasts climate change doubters: cites moral duty to act.” Okay first of all, do we need to know what the Pope thinks…
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Dispatches From Orbit

Next Embedding Test

Orbit August 17, 2017 Next Embedding Test2021-06-17T11:41:45-07:00 Dispatches From Orbit
Alright, we're learning how to embed video and flow text around it. As soon as the eggs come out of the ice water, peel off the shells. The eggs are…
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Dispatches From Orbit

EMBEDDING TEST

Orbit August 17, 2017 EMBEDDING TEST2021-06-17T14:09:46-07:00 Dispatches From Orbit
TEST PAGE This is just a test page I'm using. No telling what will turn up here   And the uniforms should all be one color. That guy with the…
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Dispatches From Orbit

Dispatch: Dallas Purple Taco Caper Solved Three Minutes After Attaining Orbit

Orbit August 15, 2017 Dispatch: Dallas Purple Taco Caper Solved Three Minutes After Attaining Orbit2020-02-22T19:50:19-08:00 Dispatches From Orbit
Alright, I don't know why it falls upon us here in Orbit to explain the obvious to people, but once again we hadda step in. First we see the Newsweek…
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Dispatches From Orbit

Dispatch: Hillary And Chelsea In Fatal Boating Accident. Is One DOA, One in ICU?

Orbit August 5, 2017 Dispatch: Hillary And Chelsea In Fatal Boating Accident. Is One DOA, One in ICU?2017-09-26T20:49:51-07:00 Dispatches From Orbit
Hillary and Chelsea killed in boating accident? Yeah, it’s always been my contention when a headline asks a question, the answer is invariably “no.” Now I’ve done it with my…
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Dispatches From Orbit

Dispatch: Reality Is Now Old Sci-Fi

Orbit July 31, 2017 Dispatch: Reality Is Now Old Sci-Fi2017-10-23T07:47:15-07:00 Dispatches From Orbit
A friend of mine made some remark about the Drudge Report. I told him, "I go to Drudge whenever I want to scare the shit out of myself." Like today’s…
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Dispatches From Orbit

Dispatch: News Story Made For A Sexist, Racist Comedian

Orbit July 28, 2017 Dispatch: News Story Made For A Sexist, Racist Comedian2017-09-26T15:05:00-07:00 Dispatches From Orbit
Zergnet is a breathless fanboy commercial blog, mostly about celebrities. I saw a story there today about an actor they claim has a “shady side.” I wish the mainstream media…
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Dispatches From Orbit

Dispatch: Assange Takes It To The Next Level

Orbit July 16, 2017 Dispatch: Assange Takes It To The Next Level2020-04-20T09:06:56-07:00 Dispatches From Orbit
Recently, I saw a photo of Julian Assange online. He’s a dead ringer for Bill Maher. However you spell his name. It isn’t worth me looking it up. You know…
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