Dispatch: Imbeciles In Maine Brutally Attack Car With Out Of State Plates
These days you gotta find your fun where you can. A couple of imbeciles in Maine saw a car with Vermont plates and apparently lost their shit. According to news reports, they yelled at the victim telling him he “shouldn’t be in Maine.” They attacked him and damaged his car. A report a rock was thrown could not be substantiated because, with a story this big, nobody bothered.
They’re wired to the eyeballs and see a car with Vermont plates?
These raving cretins also tried to drag the poor fuck out of his car. Now, so that you understand, these were not some kids rollin’ around in the street on bath salts. These were two adult humans. One male, one female. Which is odd. A couple guys, yeah, you can understand that. They’re wired to the eyeballs and see a car with Vermont plates? Yeah, FUCK those assholes from Vermont. GO BACK TO FUCKING VERMONT, LOSER.
Generally, you get a woman in that sort of situation, she’ll work to calm things down. Not this one apparently. So the pair of them got arrested. The guy went to the slammer, the woman went to the hospital. Why? Well this is an example of your cutting edge journalism, folks. You want that kind of detail, you’re going to have to start making some calls to Maine yourself.
The victim was not injured but the female assailant had to be hospitalized.
Meanwhile, the victim was not injured. Important note: The suspects in this case were charged with assault and drug charges. Ah HA. They were messed up, out in the street, and causing problems. The victim was not injured but the female assailant had to be hospitalized. Think this pair o’ drug addled clowns picked the wrong guy to fuck with?
“Mainers attacked a man because he had out-of-state license plates, police say” was the headline on this useless “news” story. We only found out people from Maine were called Mainers when we covered a story about a Mainer in a death struggle with a raccoon back in 2017, which you’ll of course want to check out.
Here’s a cheery thought. Up here in Orbit, we’re willing to bet that back in ’71 or so, there was probably a garage band somewhere in Maine called “The Maineliners.”
Editor’s note: There was neither a photo nor video with this “news” story, so we just grabbed some images that would illustrate the situation. They don’t have anything to do with the actual event in Maine.
Yeah, we’re aware Grunge happened some time in the 80’s; that was a joke. But you know if you think about it, was there really any difference between Grunge and Hippies? We figured it would take a couple three years for the Summer of Love to make its way north so we picked ’71.