Dispatch From OrbitA Georgia man and his pals packed a lawn mower full of an explosive called tannerite. It’s impossible to know why they decided to do this. Beyond the fact they were planning to shoot at the lawn mower with high velocity rifle rounds. That’s a no brainer. What else would you do with a lawn mower packed with explosives?

There are different kinds of leg problems.
Other kind of leg problem.

However, it didn’t turn out to be the positive experience they expected. Instead it became a scene of grisly horror, especially after the guy’s leg was ripped off by flying shrapnel. In fact, it was pretty much that exact moment everything went to shit. Up until then they were having a great time. The one guy was shooting the rifle which makes big BANG noises, and everybody’s delighted with loud noises, amirite? You bet I am.

The following contains graphic images that some viewers may find disturbing.”

Hopefully, we’ve telegraphed the fact the guy’s leg was blown off well enough you’re not going to be surprised when it happens in the video. There’s a warning on this video: “WARNING: The following contains graphic images that some viewers may find disturbing.” Well, that’s a fucking lie. There’s nothing graphic about this video or else YouTube would make you sign in to see it. After the explosion all you see is a blurry jumble of shapes and colors. No, it isn’t the images you should be warned about, it’s the voices after the blast.

So if you haven’t watched it yet, SPOILER ALERT!!! Here’s what’s said:
Guy doing the shooting: “Oh. I blew my leg off. OH SHIT.”
Other guy: “Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh man Call Eddie.”

At first I thought the guy said “call an ambulance,” but I guess that’s just what I expected to hear. The more I listened to it, it sounded like Eddie. I don’t know who Eddie is. For all I know he might be an ambulance driver. And anyway, FUCK Eddie–where was he? He should have been there. Maybe none of this would have happened. If that fuck Eddie had been there…

This poor guy is shit outta luck.

Ah well, it’s a tragedy for the shooter. Assuming he survived, and we hope he did. But besides having to live monopedally for the rest of his life, he’s going to have to answer that fucking question time and again.

If you’re going to lose a leg, you’d prefer to have a good story with it. “Oh, in ’93 I crashed coming out of Turn 8 at Laguna Seca.” Or: “Oh this? Firefight in Fallujah.” Or, best of all, “Great White.” This poor guy is shit outta luck. “Me and my buddies jammed a lawn mower full of tannerite and when it exploded, shrapnel took it off.” Damn. You’d almost want to claim you were drunk…

But he certainly didn’t seem drunk in the video. Nah. I’m thinking at some point he’ll give up and answer that question with a terse reply that dissuades further discussion: “Car accident.”

M. Nick