Dispatch: Swarms Of Voracious Flying Insects To Attack Stupid Wembley Stadium Sports Event
The UK Guardian is warning the public a giant swarm of voracious flying insects will attack the EURO 2020 event at Wembley Stadium. Well, they actually say it might happen, but you know how the public takes warnings like that. People are already hoarding bug spray.
And we added the little detail about these insects being voracious. The article says nothing about these things biting. Matter of fact, they’re flying ants. And whether these flying ants bite or sting is probably irrelevant. The little we could make out from the addled news story the swarm is literally a giant clusterfuck.
We’re talking entertainment on the order of Jake Paul beating up senior citizens.
But what a brilliant marketing strategy! Who wouldn’t want to see professional athletes attacked by an insect swarm. We’re talking comedy gold here folks. We’re talking entertainment on the order of Jake Paul beating up senior citizens.
But this is at Wembley Stadium. We don’t know what they do there. We know they do tennis at Wimbledon and they both start with W so we’re presuming EURO 2020 is a tennis tournament. Or maybe it’s soccer? Up here in Orbit, we loathe expending energy on anything so we’re not going to even google it. And, well, it’s Europe so who cares?
Do those soccer games have a nap time?
Nobody cares. The only things people care about are thrills and laughs. Most of these sports events are boring. Do those soccer games have a nap time? What could jazz up one of these snoozefests more than hordes of venomous flying insects? What could be more thrilling than to see one of those hot tennis babes doing hornet attack gyrations? What could be funnier than bees chasing some fat referee in circles?
That’s what we call entertainment!
Acknowledgments and Attributions:
Those are mealworms in the time lapse animated GIF says Energy Excitements Drama.
The source of the mealworms GIF is: Green Timelapse. That channel has trippy stuff brah.
And no, we do not know why EURO 2020 is being held in 2021.