Abstract Left Decides It’s About Time The Hells Angels Join The 21st Century
Uh oh. Trouble’s abrewin’ down in Equality Town. We have it on good information, a certain influential SJW has caught wind of the fact the Hells Angels, a men’s social organization, doesn’t allow women to be members. And with that kind of Neanderthal attitude, you don’t have to wonder about where they are on other issues. They’re going to be homophobic, racist, transphobic, and xenophobic, amirite? Woooeeee.
There’s going to be an all out assault on a major Angels’ event.
Word in the stream is activists from the Abstract Left are massing. There’s going to be an all out assault on a major Angels’ event. Protesters with picket signs, fliers in the local area, TV coverage, and online, a full court press: Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Grindr, et al.
It’s worth noting there’s a small faction of the Left breaking with the rest: The Grammartarians support the Hells Angels rejection of an apostrophe. No one else on the Left can identify any other redeeming qualities in the group.
What happens when the Hells Angels meets Cancel Culture?
Up here in Orbit, we can’t wait to see where this goes. What happens when the Hells Angels meets Cancel Culture? This is shaping up to be the showdown at the I’m Okay You’re Not Okay Corral. Many experts expect press conferences with Hells Angels executives issuing tearful apologies and promises of reform. Obviously, the Angels will be reeling. Watch when the Army of Karens shows up chanting and carrying protest signs in Sturgis or wherever they pick for the offensive. Lemme tell ya, son, those Karens will be triggered.
The Hells Angels will have been thoroughly doxxed by that point. Some of these guys even have criminal records! They’ll all be fired from their jobs and evicted from their homes.
Anywhere they go they’ll be shouted down, shamed, ridiculed. When the Abstract Left goes after someone, they show no mercy. They won’t rest until these men and their families starve to death in the cold.
Because that’s what they deserve. For wrong thinking.
Notes and Attributions:
New World Orbit has herein published the first known instance of the term “Grammartarians.” Grammartarian is an obvious portmanteau of grammar and libertarian.
The featured photo appears to be Hells Angel president Sonny Barger back in the day.