WAT??? That headline makes no fucking sense. And mind you, we wrote it. We don’t know what the fuck’s going on here. We only have the story from Oddity Central to go by and it’s incomprehensible. Oh, it’s coherent, but HOLY SHIT HAS THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD GONE INSANE? Look at these pictures.Sucking on this device gives women point chins.

We don’t read whatever language that is, that’s why we can so blithely crop words and sentences out of a photo. It’s just design to us. Might as well be some kind of machine code or scribbling.

They’re advertising what’s referred to in the article as a “Suck-On Gadget.”

Photo shows pointy chin device working.Now this is kinda hard to wrap your head around, but bear with us. They’re advertising what’s referred to in the article as a “Suck-On Gadget.” Apparently if women suck on this uh, device, they’ll develop pointy chins. And the article says that’s desirable in Asian countries. I personally don’t like to see a pointy chin on a person of any age or gender, but that’s just me. Show me a person who could be described as “pixyish,” a wave of nausea washes over me.

So I punched: “is it sucky or suckie” into a search engine.

Writing this, I hadda name it as a document and I was going to use the filename SUCKY, but I wasn’t sure how to spell it. So I punched: “is it sucky or suckie” into a search engine. The first result was at definitions dot net. It was a one-word definition for “sucky-sucky: Fellatio.” That’s not what I asked for. What did I stumble into here, a dictionary of pidgin English?

By the way, we cheerfully cropped a bunch of gabble out of the photo herein of the Bobbsey Twins. We’re pretty surePhoto comparison Before/After Suck-On Gadget use. these are before and after shots. And lookee there Granville, you can see the difference. Up until now those lantern-jawed Asian women have just been fucked. Now there’s a ray of hope.

But definitions dot net DID provide a wonderful revelation

I suppose it was inevitable this would take a turn into the gutter. I feel definitions dot net did not answer my question. I had to look elsewhere and learned the word is spelled “sucky.” Fine. But definitions dot net DID provide a wonderful revelation: How to say “sucky-sucky” in sign language.

Sign language for "sucky-sucky."

 

 

 

Now let’s see if you can work that into a conversation.

M. Nick

Notes and Attributions:

Somebody sent us a link to the Oddity Central story on this. Alright, that’s false. It wasn’t somebody. It was one of the imbeciles in the engine room. You figure every once in a while they gotta get something right.

If you want to see the definition of “sucky-sucky” at definitions dot net make sure you’re sitting down.