Chelsea's Greatest AchievementsAh yes, this is your proverbial story that won’t go away, ongoing plastic surgery notwithstanding. She is shaped somewhat like a potato, which Howdy wasn’t, so there’s a dissimilarity immediately. But still, the talk persists. We tumbled to a recent mention of an article from 2018 titled: “Chelsea Clinton fires back at critics who compare her to ‘Howdy Doody.’” The “critics” were named Richard, some clown with 20 followers on Twitter.

This is what Chelsea wrote back then: “Thanks to Richard & all the people on @Twitter who’ve compared me to Howdy Doody, I now know a bit about him, including that he stood up to bullies & believed in being kind to animals.”

Maaan, those meanies were runnin’ for the exits!!!!

HOLY SHIT did she ever FIRE BACK at those motherfuckers!!! Wow. Hard core. Maaan, those meanies were runnin’ for the exits!! On the street they’re calling her “Chill-C.” Get out the waaaaay, BITCH.

But overall, we don’t know how much her comeback did for her. Obviously, Howdy Doody was a fucking puppet,Chelsea and Howdy together at last! in case that escaped anyone’s notice. Yeah, the puppet’s belief system wouldn’t let him abuse animals or tolerate bullying. Now that’s a fucking puppet with character. Is that what Chelsea is saying about herself? That she’s a puppet with character? It’s kind of beside the point; her puppet-masters have never been hobbled by having any character. And puppets do what they’re told.

It’s not fair, there’s nothing she can do about it. Plastic surgery notwithstanding.

We think Chelsea looks like Clarabell Cow.Chelsea Clinton has never actually denied she looks like Howdy Doody. Up here in Orbit, she kind of reminds us more of Clarabell Cow. Except, it looks like Clarabell is black, and Chelsea is definitely not black. In fact, Kelly-Moore named a shade of white paint after her. It’s called “Chelsea Whitely.”

Okay, it seems a little unkind to make fun of the woman because of her looks. She can’t help what she looks like, right? It’s not fair, there’s nothing she can do about it. Plastic surgery notwithstanding. Look, there’s only so much medical science can do. But then again,Millionaire Chelsea laughing there are probably plenty of people who don’t know what Howdy Doody looks like, so it’s not like she’s going to turn into an old maid or something. I mean, she didn’t. Amirite?

So where’s that leave her? What the fuck, she’s a multi-millionaire and she’s never done anything in her pathetic life. She’s only malicious by omission. But you’ve got to admit, her wide-eyed, empty-headed blandness is a lot better than Hillary’s malignant and pathological narcissism.

Given that choice, we’re going with Chelsea. Even if she does look like Howdy Doody.

M. Nick