Surveillance camera still photo of woman who urinated on the potatoes at Walmart.Yeah, she was caught in the act by an employee plus they had surveillance video of her doing it. After the cops put stills on social media she knew the jig was up. Turned herself in. I wonder how weird that phone call was. “Hi, I’m the woman who urinated on the potatoes at Walmart.”

I saw the story on Fox2 Detroit and the link takes you to an updated version. The original report was before she gave herself up. Turns out she’s 20 years old. In the updated story it’s reported the police haven’t said why she allegedly relieved herself on the potatoes. I can tell you why she did it: She’s whacked out. Either on booze or drugs and just whacked out generally. It’s said she’s “facing multiple charges including criminal mischief, open lewdness, and public drunkenness.” Okay then, drunk it is.

Cauliflower is aggressively bland.

Still, you have to wonder why she picked potatoes to pee on. Who doesn’t like potatoes? Why didn’t she pick some loathsome vegetable like brussels sprouts, or cauliflower? My mom used to cook cauliflower and I hated it. Cauliflower is aggressively bland. As I’m thinking about it I’m inclined to go to a Walmart and piss on the cauliflower. Why do stores stock it? Does anybody buy it? I don’t know.

Weird Shit’s Always Happening At Walmart

Fight in WalmartWhat I do know is – weird shit’s always happening at Walmart. Check out the hottie in the photo. My question is:Woman caught masturbating in Walmart restroom with Jimmy Dean sausage. how did they catch her? Does Walmart have surveillance cameras in their restrooms? Was she making strange sounds in a stall? For fuck’s sake, she was in a stall, right? I mean, even as whacked out as she’d have to be to masturbate with a Jimmy Dean sausage in a Walmart restroom, she wouldn’t be out on the floor, I’m begging you, she wouldn’t have done that, right? And what does Jimmy Dean have to do with any of this? Isn’t he dead? Fuck, there are so many questions…

Then I googled “urinating in Walmart” and I saw a story about a 15 year old boy who was busted for pissing on a Walmart store shelf. What is it about Walmart that draws the dregs of society? Is it the low low prices? Yeah, people who shop at Walmart do not shop at Whole Foods. In fact, they probably wouldn’t know what to do with half the stuff in Whole Foods.

Here’s the reason why: It must must be the low prices. Low prices draw low income people. When low income people are whacked out, they resent whomever is trying to give them a break. You know the old saying, don’t bite the hand that feeds you? Well, the depressing reality is, the mouth you feed will bite your hand.

M. Nick